In the mount of the Lord it shall be seen.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Life is getting more and more routine.

Routine is not a bad thing in a sense that if you sleep at the same time every night, wake up at the same hour when the sun rise every morning, have your regular meals at a regular timing, that all keeps your life healthy.

But sometimes, when I have eached a certain age, and when I'm doing something, I would start to think, why do I have to do things this way, why can't I do it differently.

Looking back, I think I've been wasting my 19 years of life doing things without even thinking. Thinking back, I could have made so much more difference in my own life and others' life if I would have been more daring to make a difference and be the difference.

It is so easy to think, but so difficult to put all your thinking into actions.

Sigh, life is a routine, it's a chore, it's boring.

I want a different life! I don't want to be "a flower, with nothing interesting to say!"

- Psalms 37:4 -
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. # ;

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Sometimes, as you are giving people advice, you may think, do you yourself have those positive thinking which you encourage your friends to have.

I think now I have. Moving on with life and taking everything with a pinch of salt. (or maybe 2 pinches)

I guess human are really complicated beings. Well, after all we are not living in a world of amoebas.

2 different (or similar) people can be doing the same thing, but they could have a completely motive/intention in mind. I suddenly realised how confusing reality could be.

But sooner or later, I got to realise that, no matter what others think about you or say about you, you actually have not much control over it. Perhaps believing yourself is most important. It is sure not easy to ignore or don't be too conscious about what others think about you. But when attained, the carefree-ness in you is indescribable.

Just be yourself, no matter what others say.

We have to fall to learn how to stand up again. And a success without failure ain't that precious is it?

Thanks to everyone who took part in my life and did whatever you did to me, good or bad.

I hope I can see the silver linings of the clouds soon.

- Psalms 37:4 -
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. # ;

Monday, November 3, 2008

As predicted, reached home in 2 hours time.

Sigh, although the speed of 157 seems to become much faster, but then it still took long to reach home... Aiyoyo...

Aiya, for all the wrong reasons. I feel that I am so not myself recently. Getting angsty with the stuff I don't used to be angsty over, and saying things that I don't usually say.

Sigh, I wished so much that I could declare myself a winner and say "I'm completely over it" out loud.

How many times I tell myself that I wouldn't care anymore, and how many times I'm just always so bothered by it.

I always know the right things for the wrong reason. I always dig my own grave. I always find out the truth that I didn't want to know. I mean, it's always good to find out the truth, perhaps it just takes time to digest.

I wished I could just laugh it off like I do to everything. I wished I could get my old self back.

I wished I could just let go of all the negative energies and allow the positive ones to fill me up.

I just wanted to throw the past away and start all over again. Shred old memories and allow new ones to be created.

Why am I still holding onto the past? I wished I could still have the positive outlook for life like I used to have.

Life is so disappointing. I think I am nostalgic. I can't really rid familiar stuff. It's really out of my comfort zone to be in a new surrounding.

I wished I woudn't fall deeper into all these emo shits anymore.

Sigh sigh sigh.

I might be so tough and angst on the outside, is that just the protective outer shells of all Crabs?

History just strikes me again and again. But it's the final ending that differs.

Am I just weak or are all these too much for a 19 year old to go through?

Sigh, I'm sorry all friends if I'm ain't really myself these days. And transforming into a annonying much person. Go easy on me please.

So many things happened these few years. I am so depressed that Mao Mao isn't physically here to heal me.

Cat oh Cat, Mao Mao oh Mao Mao, when are you gonna come and take mommy with you? I miss you.. Life is so meaningless without you...

I guess there's few people I can trust anymore.

*

Sigh, outing with Bro Sze Hui next week. I hope she can give me some positive energies.

- Psalms 37:4 -
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. # ;