You know life has been meaningful. I've spent so much more time with my friends, which is good, because they really keep my smile on my face and they are the ones who stayed with me through the years.

I am also glad that I am using my holidays wisely. Not just blindly earning money, rather, pretty much the opposite. Not earning any money but doing meaningful (yet really challenging) things. I am thankful that God has brought me through all these because without Him I couldn't have achieve anything.

There is one another person always on my mind, and that is you, Benjamin, if you are even reading this. I really miss you so much, I haven't seen you for months, and sometimes I wonder what should I consider our relationship as? I don't know how you feel but I really wanna sort things out. Even if the outcome requires us to bring things to a closure I will face it, and accept it. I just can't stand it when things are left hanging. What does this mean? What do I mean to you? Leave me guessing and you're killing me now.

Looking back all those quarrels are just meaningless. And I never wanted any of them to happen and I promise I have done my best to prevent any of them from happening but they still do. It takes 2 hands to clap, so I would never say I have no part in them. If I could do everything once again, I would choose to lose every quarrel just to win your understanding. And that is I love you and I would never do any thing to hurt you and you need to trust me.

But I can't do any of these. What's done is done.

What I wanna do now is just to have a good sleep and wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed so I can work hard and achieve some results for my project. I need to focus on God and not allow myself to just drift into sadness and shut myself out.

I need to be strong. I have more important things to carry out.