In the mount of the Lord it shall be seen.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

It's just freaky how friends close as sisters experience the same thing at the same time.

I really have a bad feeling about things.

There are just some things whereby there are ample choices, but the decisions were made too early. (perhaps even in a haste) And when things had to change, these earlier made decisions contradicts the change.

There's this strain that is pulling in between 2 strong-willed and neither wants to give way. True enough, the goal is the same, but the route towards the goal is different. Wake-up-call from the disillusionment of a perfect compromisation, there isn't any win-win situation.

The correct way to solve the problem is a clear but painful one. Optimism always comes to suggest a possible alternative. As much as we wished there was an alternative, clearly there isn't.

Is this a vicious cycle? The differences once and again burst the psychedelic bubble of "If I had to choose again, my choice will still be same."

Will it really still be same?
Ironically enough we somehow still never fail to convince ourselves that the answer is yes...

But is this really correct?

Just as we thought the search has ended, have we really found?

Are we going the right way? We're lost. We're lost!

I feel really uneasy, and there's this strange familiarity to it, it just feels like deja vu.

I'm really afraid.

- Psalms 37:4 -
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. # ;

Friday, July 30, 2010

Now it's really July 30th my beloved Mao Mao has gone to rainbow bridge for 3 years.. But I know she's in a better place so I'm happy.

Changed a new set of strings for the lao pok guitar. The guitar not exactly old, but it's quite lao pok already because I broke it's neck like 2 times. The headstock just fell off!

Let's review the traumatising past:

I was so gan chiong to snap a pic that I couldn't be bothered to just remove the strings...

The first time I don't know why it broke, just probably it fell without me seeing. So when I opened the case (which was just a gig bag with not much protection, I'm putting it at home! So I didn't supposed I need a hard case!) got a big fat shock of my life and nearly cried! =( haha, so dramatic.

Then I glued it back, in attempt to avoid finding a professional because the guitar is not expensive but getting it glued professionally is costly! And that was my first solid top, so obviously I couldn't bear to just see it lying around with a broken headstock.

Glued with polyurethane glue still not happy so I re-challenged it and put back medium gauge steel strings, and SNAP! It broke like after 3 days of strumming. =(

Sigh with the glue residues it's obviously 3x more difficult to re-glue but still did it anyway. Got a super solid capo to kiap it now. And become more and more act smart, go and put on heavy gauge nylon strings for it. (still less tension then steel strings) and it's working fine now leh!!!!! =D

And new strings always sounds so nice.. Though they take a while to stabilise the tuning but still it sounds really nice. Sweet!

How I wished my mood can be refreshed like how the sound of the guitar is refreshed by a change of strings... =)

- Psalms 37:4 -
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. # ;

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Aw, tomorrow will be 3 years Mao Mao went to Rainbow Bridge. I really miss this adorable rebellious, mischievous, but sweet cat, who'd always come to me when I'm down.

Sometimes I look back in time there are some things that I wished I could've done differently. But not to the extent of regrets. Just where'd all the perfect innocent days gone?.. I know this is life, I wished I could still just whip out my optimistic personality right now. Just right now, and get everything going again. Where'd that part me gone?

Aww, everyone's busy with their stuff and each have their own problems. I wished there was just one friend I could really share my problems with, without feeling guilty. I wished Mao Mao's still around. (for n times of the year already) =(

- Psalms 37:4 -
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. # ;

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Dear Boss, Happy Birthday!

Though you have gone home with the Lord for almost 3 months, your teachings would stay with me till forever.

I just wanna let you know that I really miss you and you'll always be our very beloved and favourite Dr. Kwek. I can never find a better Boss, doctor, teacher and friend.

- Psalms 37:4 -
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. # ;

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I know what, I'm not gonna care, I'm not gonna look. I'm just going to turn a blind eye and look beyond the imperfections.

I don't wanna get myself hurt by trying to make you better because I know I'll never succeed. No one can change you except only God. But no one can initiate the change unless you yourself open your heart and let the Lord in to make you better.

But before anything like this can ever happen, I pray to God to please give me the strength to continue on, to look beyond the imperfections and to change me to be better myself. I pray to God to give me the willpower to hold on to the faith that I know we can. Even though we know we ourselves can't, God can.

'With God, anything is possible'.

Amen!

- Psalms 37:4 -
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. # ;